Communication is a universal concept that needs no technical effort to understand yet it is misused and result to conflicts when not used well.
Communication in a layman’s term is a connection allowing access between persons or places. Now, come to think of it. Why is communication not just about speaking and listening?
It is because communication is a lifestyle, it’s a cultivated tool of showing or proving something. It is a relationship.
Look out for relationships that lack good communication, do you see any relationship left in the union?
No! because the vital tool for accessing the physical and psychological being of a person is cut short or garbled.
Hence ask yourself if you have the relationship in that your interpersonal relationships?
Communication has various part to it and I’ll take two out of this from a book I read last week.
Listening and Speaking
Speaking
This is the part of communication that involves address or delivering utterances as a way of informing, showing, responding and approving.
Speaking is an intelligent exercise that includes both mental and physical use of the being in order to communicate with the other significant.
Speaking can result to conflict if the language use is not universal, biased and deprecating.
Whereas;
Listening is not just replying to what you have heard but it is a way to show that the language in which the other significant is talking in is understood.
Listening is not a waiting time between when your partner speak and when you speak. It is a time to understand what your partner is saying, read into the context of their speech, read meaning into their body language and assess what to you gain from their speech.
Do you know giving the chance to listen to someone helps them organise their thought and process their Behavior?
Sometimes, some people talk because they need to gather up idea on what to do while they talk about it. All they need is their time to do the talking while you listen.
Tips to make you an outstanding listener
1. Use non-intrusive verbal and nonverbal signs to edge them on.
2. Give space for their thought gathering. Silence is golden sometimes.
3. Let them run til the steam is out.
Especially for those that are angry, they can’t think clearly when they are clouded with their perception.
4. Don’t play the role of psychologist. Not everybody that talk to you need that advice you are dishing out. Stopeeet! Stop that psychoanalysis you are performing on that person talking to you. Don’t be quick assume and speculative about their motivation or intent. Ask and if they wish, they would share.
5. Keep your unsolicited advice to yourself, resist the urge to compare circumstances even when they are similar because there are cultural difference, personality difference and environmental factors.
6. Put your input when asked for and watch out for feedback.
7. Don’t force your recommendations on anybody. No one is obliged to take your advice or recommendations.
8. When talking to someone and you want to register what they have said, don’t parrot their words back. Paraphrase as little as you can.
Practice time!
Put this into practice by calling a friend on phone who you have spoken with quite a while. Watch out for these tips and infuse them into your actions.
This post was made as a Book Review for 21 days of Effective Communication written by Ian Tuhovsky.
This book is a great book for public speaking learning, interpersonal relationships and great help for content creators.
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